Tales from Sumer

I have another old story of mine I’d like to share. But first, let me explain something: for years and years I’ve been obsessed with ancient Sumer.

There’s something so compelling for me about that civilization, arising as it did in the liminal period between recorded history and the unknowable endless millennia sprawling out behind it. So much we take for granted was developed during this time. Writing - etched into clay, packed into proto-libraries, facilitating real commerce. Irrigation and the city-states settling for the first time around it. The wheel, people.

And my favorite historical personage from that time period was Urukagina, the first known ruler to ever seize power not by force or birthright, but by a claim to social justice. (It was Urukagina’s laws that the code of Hammurabi was based on.)

Okay, back to my story. Which is actually two stories, an original (short and complete) and a second draft that I wrote at college as an independent study. I like the latter a lot better, but it’s only a beginning.

I’m not sure whether I’ll ever complete the second draft. My biggest struggle has been dealing with the narrative voice/style here. I can’t seem to find the right balance - sometimes it veers towards anachronistic, other times tediously “contemporary”. But I do like the characters - it’s a lot easier to write sympathetic antagonists when they live in a society where words for freedom and fairness have yet to be invented.

Here’s the first draft. And here’s the second.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.