Bad Things, a poem/checklist

You did a bad thing…

☐ and you should feel bad.
☐ and that makes you a bad person.
☐ and you should at least _admit_that it was bad.
☐ and you should not do it again.
☐ and you should be prevented from doing it again.
☐ and you should be punished.
☐ and you should make restitution.

You did a bad thing…

☐ and now I no longer trust you not to do the bad thing.
☐ and now I no longer trust you not to do bad things generally.
☐ and frankly I no longer like you at all.
☐ and now I am filled with a deep, keening fear that you’ll hurt us again, or you’ll stand by and let somebody else hurt us, and I don’t know how many wounds we can take before we bleed out.
☐ and now I’m worried for you. Are you okay, friend?

You did a bad thing…

☐ and I understand why you did it.
☐ and I don’t understand why but I want to.
☐ and yet I also see the good in it.
☐ and it might have been good in another context.
☐ and I might have done the same in your place.

You did a bad thing…

☐ and I want you to feel empathy for those you hurt, because without empathy, what are we?
☐ and I want to avoid this conflict, but doesn’t that just push the conflict to tomorrow?
☐ and if I don’t say something, am I complicit?
☐ and if I do say something, will you hate me forever?

You did a bad thing…

☐ and I know that can be hard to face.
☐ and I think you are strong enough to face it.
☐ and I want to help you face it because I care about you.
☐ but facing your mistakes is one of the best and bravest things you will ever get to do.